It’s late Saturday afternoon. The wind is starting to pick up and creep underneath my sweater and give me the same chills I used to get living in San Jose. I’m with my kasamas in the university library, working harder than I ever had on a Saturday afternoon. Slowly but surely, each and everything is getting crossed off my list of assignments I need to get done. I’ve reached a level of productivity I never thought I could reach without feeling worn out at all. I’m also moderately stoned.
This is the first time I’ve ever done any schoolwork high. I usually stray away from it, knowing how out of touch I can get whenever I smoke a bowl, but for the first time, I feel composed. My writing is flowing out of me, the gears in my head turning. I can feel the sativa pumping through my bloodstream as a work and I’ve never felt greater. I turned my ultimate fear of doing anything high into a useful tool. I’m not as worried about weed as I used to be.
I’ve always held a weird elitism with smoking pot. Subconsciously, I held some level of superiority of those who indulge without completely understanding its purpose in a medical context. My anxiety is the lowest it’s ever been and I can really zero in on my work and writing. I’m not scared of my daunting list as I have been all week. As the high starts to fade, I’ve comfortably entered the rhythm of my workload and are less stressed out because of it.
I don’t know if getting high before studying will always reap the same benefits. There’s always going to be a clear line between drug usage to get ahead of school, even if it’s just pot. It’s also important not to develop a dependency to the drug itself and know that your best self will always be you when you’re sober. Always taking things in complete moderation is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship with marijuana and utilizing it for its medical benefits.